Okay. Once we cross this bridge, it's only an hour to the palace.
- Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath. - I believe it.
- What was that? - Nothing.
Whoa! Kuzco!
- Kuzco! - Yeah?
Quick, help me up!
- No. I don't think I will. - You're gonna leave me here?
Well, I was gonna have you imprisoned for life, but I kind of like this better.
I thought you were a changed man.
Oh, come on. I had to say something to get you to take me back to the city.
- So all of it was a lie? - Well, yeah. No, wait.
Uh, yeah, yeah. It all was a lie. Toodles.
We shook hands on it!
You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is you need hands.
Okay. Buh- bye.
- Are you okay? Are you all right? - Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm all right.
Good! That's for going back on your promise!
Yeah. That's for kidnapping me...
and taking me to your village, which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way.
No touchy.
Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?
I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.
Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.
- Let's end this. - Ladies first.
- Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow!
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna die! We're gonna die!
That's it for me!
No, we're not. Calm down.
I have an idea. Give me your arm.
Okay, now the other one.
When I say go, push against my back and we'll walk up the hill.
Ready? Go.
- Ow! You did that on purpose. - No, I didn't!
Now, we're gonna have to work together to get out of this, so follow my lead.
- Ready? Right foot. - Whose right? Your right or-or mine?
- I don't care. Mine. - Well, why yours?
- Okay, your right! Ready? - Okay, got it.
Okay. Right.
- Left. Right. - Look, we're moving!
Don't look down! Now, stay with me. Stay with me.
Right. Left. Right. Left.
Right. Left. Right!
- Now what, genius? - Working on it.
Okay, here's the deal.
Stretch out your neck, and I'll grab the rope.
How do I know you won't let me fall after you grab the rope?
You're just gonna have to trust me!
You know, it's a good thing you're not a big, fat guy...
or this would be really difficult.
Almost. Got it!
- It's stuck. - Take your time. No hurry here.
- Scorpions! - Kuzco!
Oh, no!
Huh?
Whoa!
Huh?
Look out!
Yeah! Oh, look at me and my bad self.
I snatched you right out of the air.
"Oh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me."
Well, not today, pal. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- You just saved my life. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Huh? So?
- I knew it. - Knew what? - That there is some good - in you after all.
- Oh, no. - Admit it. - Wrong. - Yes, there is.
- Nuh-uh. - I think there is. - Nuh-uh. - Hey, you could've let me fall.
Come on. What's the big deal? Nobody's that heartless!
Don't read too much into it. It was a one-time thing.
Right. Sure.
Well, we better get going.
With that bridge out, it's a four-day walk to the palace.
What? You mean you're still taking me back?
- I shook on it, didn't I? - Well, yeah, uh, but I hope you realize that doesn't change a thing.
I'm still building Kuzcotopia when I get back.
Well, four days is a long time. Who knows? Maybe you'll change your mind.
Uh-huh. Four days.
- What are the chances of you carrying me? - Not good.
No, no, no!
We've searched every village surrounding the palace...
and still no sign of Kuzco.
Where is he?
- Kronk! - Kronk here.
- I'm getting tired. Pull over. - Sure thing. Kronk out.
Perfect. These are my best shoes.
I hate this jungle.
Oh, look. A golden-throated small-winged warbler.
Just one more for exotic bird bingo.
I am loving this.
Get away from me!
Yeah. Tell me about it.
No, no, it's not you. She's not the easiest person to get close to.
There's a wall there. Trust me.
Are you talking to that squirrel?
I was a junior chipmunk, uh...
and I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures.
Please continue.
Why me? Why me?
Hey, it doesn't always have to be about you.
This poor little guy has had it rough.
Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day.
Oh, a talking llama?
Do tell.
Uh, he doesn't really wanna talk to you.
Well, then you ask him.
I hate being in the middle. Squeaky, uh...
squeak, squeaker, squeakin'.
Jaguars? No kidding? Brutal.
Uh, could you give us a little room here?
Uh, sorry.
A little bit more, please.
- How's this? - Yeah, that's good.
Now ask him which way the talking llama went!
Uh, squeakity-squeak, squeakin'.
- Low blood sugar, huh? - Yeah. It's a curse.
Well, as soon as we get something to eat, you're walking the rest of the way.
Welcome to Mudka's Meat Hut...
home of the mug of meat.
What'll it be?
We'll have two specials. Is that all right, dear?
Oh, what ever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.
- We're on our honeymoon. - Bless you for coming out in public.
So that's two specials.
And an onion log. To split.
Ordering! I need two heartburns...
and a deep-fried doorstop on table 12!
Okay, so I'll admit this was a good idea.
When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?
That's funny, because I thought that you going into the jungle by your self...
being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really bad ideas.
Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
Hot and crispy pillbug for the happy couple.
Oh, boy.
Oh, here. Let me get that for you.
- Where are you going? - I'm just gonna slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef.
- You're gonna get us thrown out. - Please.
With this disguise, I'm invisible.
We've been walking around in circles for who knows how long.
That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.
I should have done away with Kuzco myselfwhen I had the chance.
Oh, you really gotta stop beating yourself up about that.
Uh-oh. I'll get you another one there, Yzma.
- You using that fork, pal? - Hey, don't I know you?
- I don't think so. - Wrestled you in high school?
- Don't remember that. - No? Metal shop? - Uh, no--
Oh, I got it. Miss Narca's interpretive dance-- two semesters.
I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. Come on, pal. You gotta help me out here.
Uh, no, look, I-I don't think we've ever met, but, look, I gotta go.
- Don't worry. I'll think of it. - Look, all I know is the food looked iffy.
All right? And I'm not the only one that thinks that, I'm sure.
- Psst! Hey! - So I'm just checking to make sure...
that you're gonna take the main course up a notch.
Is there anything on this menu that is not swimming in gravy?
- Hang on. I'll go ask the chef. - It's a simple question.
Is there or is there not anything edible on this menu?
Hey, I didn't ask him about dessert yet!
Hey, pal, what's your policy on making special orders?
All right, buster, that's it!
You want a special order, then you make it! I quit!
- Yeah, but I-- Hold on. - You know, I try and I try, but there's just no respect for anyone with vision.
- That-That's it! There's just - nothing I can do about it! - Wait a second. Please don't go. - Ordering.
- Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers... - No, no.
a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day...
and a steak cut in the shape of a trout.
- You got all that, honey? - Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air...
basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill, got it.
- What's going on? - There's no time to explain. We gotta get out of here.
What is he doing in there?
- Come on! - I n a minute. I'm still hungry.
- No, Kuzco! - Okay, I'll make it simple for you.
I'll have a spinach omelet with wheat toast. You got it?
- Can do. - What's taking so long?
- Pickup! - Kronk, what are you doing?
- Kind of busy here. - Why am I not surprised?
Yo! Order's up!
Oh, well, while you're at it, make me the special. And hold the gravy!
- Check. Pickup! - You know what? On second thought, make my omelet a meat pie.
- Meat pie. Check. - Kronk!
- Can I order the potatoes as a side dish? - I'll have to charge you full price.
- Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy? - You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?
- Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine. - Cheddar spuds coming up.
- Spuds yes, cheese no. - Hold the cheese. - No, I want the cheese. - Cheese it is.
- Cheese me no "likee." - Cheese out. - Cheese in! - Come on. Make up your mind!
- Okay, okay, on second thought, make my potatoes a salad. - Make my potatoes a salad.
Excuse me. You see that woman over there?
No problem, hon. We do that all the time.
One, two, three, four Happy, happy birthday from all ofus to you
We wish it was our birthday so we could party too
Happy, happy birthday May all your dreams come true
- We wish it was our birthday so we could party too - It's your birthday?
- What a re you doing? - Look, there's two peoplein there I ooking for you.
- What? - A bi g guy and a skinny old woman.
Wait. Was this woman scary beyond all reason?
- Oh, yeah. - That's Yzma and Kronk. I'm saved!
- Trust me, they're not here to save you. - They'll take me back to the palace.
Thanks for your help. You've been great. I can take it from here.
No, no, you don't understand. They're trying to kill you.
- Kill me? Their whole world revolves around me. - No, I can't let you!
What? Wha-- Oh! Oh, I get it.
- What? - You don't want to take me back to the palace.
- You want to keep me stranded out here forever. - No!
- This has all been an act, and I almost fell for it. - Will you just listen to me--
No, no, you listen to me. All you care about is your-your stupid hilltop!
- What? - You don't care about me. Now, just get out of here. Go!
- But-But-- - Go on! Get out of here!
Fine!
- Oh, this entire mess is all your fault. - What'd I do?
If you hadn't mixed up those poisons, Kuzco would be dead now!
There'll be no more diversions until we track that llama down and kill him!
Said I was sorry. Can't just let it go, not even on your birthday.
Kuzco must be eliminated.
The empire will finally be rid of that useless slug.
Well, you got a point. Nobody really seems to care that he's gone, do they?
Pacha!
Pacha?
So this is where you came in.
See, just like I said, I'm the victim here.
I didn't do anything, and they ruined my life and took everything I had.
-Hey, give it a rest up there, will you? -What? I'm just telling them what happened.
Who you kidding, pal? They saw the whole thing. They know what happened.
- Well, yeah, but-- but-- - Just leave me alone.
The peasant at the diner!
He didn't pay his check.
He's the peasant who I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco on the back of his cart.
He must have taken him back to his village, so ifwe find the village, we find him...
and ifwe find him, we find Kuzco.
Oh, yeah, it's all comin' together.
- Yzma! - What?
This had better be good!
So there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble.
And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell.
Do you believe that?
You know, call me crazy for following this guy all the way out here...
but as much as he tries to deny it, I know there's some good in him.
Besides, I couldn't just leave him out here all alone.
He's a lousy llama.
I mean, a really lousy llama.
Hey, listen, Pacha, you know...
what I said to you back at the diner, that-that--
I-I didn't really--
So, you tired of being a llama?
Yes!
Okay, we're just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.
- Then we'll be on our way, right? - Right.
Hey there, Pacha. Hey, you know, you just missed your relatives.
- My relatives? - Yeah. We just sent'em up to your house.
- What did they look like? - Well, you see, there was this big guy...
and this older woman who was, uh--
- How would you describe her? - Scary beyond all reason.
Yeah, that's it.
So remind me again how you're related to Pacha?
Why, I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great aunt.
Twice removed.
- Uh-huh. - Isn't that right, Kronk?
Ninety-nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way...
but as I said to you before, you may recal l, Pacha is not here.
- I'll be sure and tell him you came by. - Oh, would you, please?
That would be just great.
Oops. Silly me.
No, no. Allow me.
She's hiding something. When I give the word, we search the house.
Okay, but I still have 94 monkeys to go.
- So while we're waiting for Paca-- - Pacha.
Yeah, I-- Oh, yes.
Um, perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home.
You know, why don't you just come back when Pacha gets home?
I'm sure he'd love to show you the--
Uh, excuse me, won't you?
I think I left something in the oven.
This is my variation of double Dutch. On the signal, we switch places.
- Kronk, it's time! - Okay.
So we have to get back to the palace, find the lab and change him back.
Hi there!
- Um, that was him. - Whoops.
You know what? I don't believe you're really my great aunt.
You're more like my great-great-great...
Go. I'll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start.
- Thanks, honey. - You have a lovely wife. They're both very pretty.
great-great-great-great-great...
- All right! Are you through? - great-great aunt.
- So, where were we? - Listen, sister, we're not leaving until--
I show you the house. Of course.
Hey, was it a good idea to leave your family with those two?
Oh, don't worry. They can handle themselves.
What do you mean, the door is stuck? Try jiggling the handle.
- There is no handle in here. - There's not? Are you sure?
All right, I've had enough of this.
Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Uh, don't you mean "or"?
Tell us where the talking llama is, orwe'll burn your house to the ground.
Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.
That's it, Kronk! Break the door down!
Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.
I don't care, you fool. Get out of my way. I'll break it down myself.
- A-one! - Okay, kids, you know what to do.
- Two! - Right, Mom!
Three!
Okay, children, on your mark...
get set, go!
Stop it, you little brats! Huh?
Ow! Oh, there they go, Kronk! And-- They're getting away!
Well, I had a great time. Let's not wait...
until the next family reunion to get together.
- Kronk! - I, uh-- I gotta run.
Okay, why does she even have that lever?
Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times.
H uh?
- What does it look like? - I don't know. Just keep looking.
Over here! It has to be one of these.
Lions, tigers, bears--
Oh, my.
Looking for this?
No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?
Uh-- How did we, Kronk?
Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
Oh, well, back to business.
Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been.
But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?
Just think of it as you're being let go...
that your life's going in a different direction...
that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.
I know. It's called a cruel irony...
Iike my dependence on you.
- I can't believe this is happening! - Then I bet you weren't expecting this.
No!
- Aha! - Oh, okay.
Finish them off.
Hey, you're not backing down now, are you, big guy?
Uh, where's the other guy?
- Yo! - Sorry I'm late. So what'd I miss?
Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to, you know, take them out.
And then this guy popped up and then we waited for you, and quite honestly--
Kronk! Why did I think you could do this?
This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
- Whoa now! - A really, really big stupid monkey named Kronk!
- Ouch. - And do you want to know something else?
I've never liked your spinach puffs.
Never!
- That's it. She's going down. - Now, now, remember, guys.
From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.
That'll work.
- Strange. That usually works. - And so does this!
Ah. Should have seen that coming. Whoa!
Give me that vial!
Oops. Clumsy me.
Which one? Which one?
Better hurry. I'm expecting company.
Kill them! They murdered the emperor!
No, wait! I'm the emperor! It's me-- Kuzco!
- They're not listening to me! - Just take'em all.
- Get them! - Hey, I've been turned into a cow.
- Can I go home? - You're excused. Anyone else?
- No, we're good. - Yeah, we're-we're good. - Get them!
We've gotta change you back. Try this one.
Uh, Pacha? Little help!
Come on! Come on!
Oh, please be something with wings.
Yeah! We're flyin'! Uh-oh.
We're not getting anywhere with you picking the vials. I'm picking the next one.
- Fine by me! - Give me that one.
Don't you say a word.
Quick! Drain the canals!
Open up!
Yea! I'm a llama again!
Wait.
- There they go! After them! - Come on, men!
Nobody lives forever! Charge!
Okay, only two left. It's gotta be one of these.
No!
I'll take that.
This is the one. This'll change you back to a human.
Ow! Hey, get her off!.
Ow! Get her off me!
- Drink the potion! - Okay, okay!
- Where did it go? Where is it? - Looking for this?
Is that my voice? Is that my voice?
- Oh, well. - No, no! Don't drop it!
I'm not going to drop it, you fool!
I'm going to drink it!
And once I turn back into my beautiful self...
I'm going to kill you!
Oh! Uh-oh.
- Kuzco! - Be right there! Give me a minute!
Kuzco! Whoa!
Kuzco!
The vial!
For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline.
You know, pal, you could have told me that before I set it up.
The vial! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
- I win. - Whoa.
Got it!
What are the odds of that trap door leadin' me out here?
Here, uh, let me get this for you.
Well, see ya on the other side.
Oh, now, you-you-you stop being so hard on yourself.
- All is forgiven. - You're sure?
Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out a window, and it won't be the last.
What can I say? I'm a rebel.
Whoa-ho-ho, tiger. Oh, hey!
I gotta use that arm later. Okay, buddy, take care.
He's a sweet guy.
So, you lied to me.
- I did? - Yeah. You said...
when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing.
Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills...
and I did not hear any singing.
So I'll be building my summer home on a more magical hill.
Thank you.
Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh?
No, no, I'm sharp. I'm on it.
Looks like you and your family are stuck on the tuneless hilltop forever, pal.
You know, I'm pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us.
In case you're interested.
- Ha! Boom, baby! - Ha! Boom, baby!
You'd be the coolest dude in the nation
Or the hippest cat in creation
But if you ain't got friends then nothing's worth the fuss
A perfect world will come to be
When everybody here can see
That a perfect world begins and ends
A perfect world begins and ends
A perfect world begins and ends with us
- "My acorn is miss ing." - Squeak, squea kin', squeak, squea kity.
- "Did you eat the acorn?" - Squeaker, squeak, squeak, squeakin'?
- "You owe me a new acorn." - Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeaker--
- Squeakin'. - I'm so proud of you guys.
♪ In the quiet time of evening
♪ When the stars assume their patterns
♪ And the day has made his journey
♪ And we wondered just what happened
♪ To the life we knew
♪ Before the world changed
♪ When not a thing I had
♪ Was true
♪ But you were kind to me
♪ And you reminded me
♪ That the world ♪ is not my playground
♪ There are other things that matter
♪ And what is simple needs protecting
♪ Or my illusions all would shatter
♪ But you stayed
♪ In my corner
♪ The only world I know ♪ was upside-down
♪ And now the world and me
♪ We know you carry me
♪ You see the patterns ♪ in the big sky
♪ Those constellations look ♪ like you and I
♪ Just like the patterns ♪ in the big sky
♪ We could be lost ♪ we could refuse to try
♪ But we made it through
♪ In the dark night
♪ Who would those lucky guys ♪ turn out to be
♪ But that unusual blend
♪ Of my funny friend and me
♪ I'm not as clever as I thought I was
♪ I'm not the boy ♪ I used to be because
♪ You show me somethin' different
♪ You show me somethin 'pure
♪ I always seemed so certain ♪ but I was really never sure
♪ But you stayed
♪ Andyou called my name
♪ When others would have walked out ♪ on a lousy game
♪ And look who made it through
♪ But your funny friend and me
- ♪ You see the patterns in the big sky - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ Those constellations look ♪ like you and I
♪ That tiny planet ♪ and the bigger guy
♪ I don't know whether ♪ I should laugh or cry
- ♪ Just like the patterns in the big sky - ♪ We'll be together
♪ We'll be together ♪ till the end this time
♪ You don't know ♪ you don't know
- ♪ Don't know the answer or the reason why - ♪ We'll stick together
♪ We'll stick together ♪ till the day we die
♪ If I had to do this all ♪ a second time
♪ I won't complain or make a fuss
♪ Who would the angels send
♪ But that unlikely blend
♪ Of those two funny friends
♪ That's us